Video killed the what star?

I have been SO slack since arriving.

In keeping in touch with the old country that is. I'm mostly slack on that because I'm busy doing stuff here. When I'm not working, I'm socialising or just plain not working. I landed a job at EB, by the way, for the people that don't know. I haven't quite sold my soul yet, but man. The things you learn are TERRIFYING.

But yeah, even SMSing. I get sent SMSes and I'm all "I'm in the middle of something or something! I'll reply later!" and then I never do. And after that I'm all "Well, I'll address that in the big mass email I keep meaning to send back home!" but I never do that either.

And calling. Don't get me started on calling. I received an SMS the other day from Tom, and I never replied. And then I was all "Goddamn, I NEVER reply! I'ma call instead!" and... yep. I never did that either.

SO! What I'm basically trying to say here is, I'm sorry all, if you've SMSed or tried to contact me in some way since my arrival, but I've been pretty freaking slack/busy.

I have my own theory for some of it, of course. Being that, before I moved I spent most of my evenings and sometimes days on the internet talking to Tim and doing less socialising than I should, and less video games. So now that I don't need the internet to talk to him, I've tended to shy away from the internet entirely, using my computer for games for the most part.

And then, with our purchase of an XBox 360, I'm using it even less. I've never owned a console before, but man, the 360 is a beautiful machine.

So yep! I'm usually selling video games, playing video games, or talkin' video games. And man, life is pretty sweet.

But yeah! This was only gonna be a short email to let you know that I'm a jerk, that I'm okay, and that things are fun here. There might be a longer, better update soon, but I wouldn't hold your breath, looking at the track record. In fact, with this tiny update, I might even put some emails on top priority instead. So... look forward to that I guess! Unless, y'know, I get distracted. By video games. And christmas shopping.

Life is GOOD.

P.S. Buy everyone you know Mass Effect for Christmas. Even yourself. Even if they don't have a 360. One day they will. And they'll want it.

It's mostly cleaning and packing.

Wow, what do I even say.

Tonight is the end of an era. Tomorrow is the beginning of the end. And then later that week is the end, and the after that, the beginning.

I'm moving. Finally, it's happening and suddenly, with the imminent arrival of my Timothy and the beginning of a full-on week of doing goodbye stuffs, it's close and it's real. By the end of next week I'll be living in a new city, in a new state overlooking a new ocean. I'll be socialising with new friends, eating dinners with a new family, missing the people I used to see all the time, and seeing the people I used to miss all the time.

It's the end of an era, and I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm frustrated, I'm bored and I don't know what to do with myself. Well, I do. It's mostly cleaning and packing. But I'm in so much denial it's been impossible to start.

I'm making it sound worse than it is. I am truly excited. But there are a lot of things about Sydney that I don't want to leave behind. My Mum, my friends, my way of life for the last year or so. Tom's sense of humour, not least. Yes, Tom, you get a special mention. I don't want to make other people feel bad, like they're less important. But Tom's been a close friend for ages. I hardly do anything without him these days, and suddenly his understanding of my mind and hugely similar sense of humour are going to be three thousand kilometres away. You're my Scarecrow, man. I'm going to miss you most of all.

I'd take that analogy further along the Tinman and Cowardly Lion lines, but I think if I starting picking out more individuals, people would get upset at being left out and whatnot. So just Tom being super-special is enough.

Speaking of Tom, he turns 21 tomorrow. The big one. The last birthday anyone's going to be excited about until you turn 30. And think how scary that'll be. You might be married, have kids, a mortage, a divorce, a crazy stepmother, an affair. You might be a millionaire.

Notice I'm talking about you, despite the fact my birthday is just barely over a month later than yours? I'm sure psychologists have a term for that, and I'm pretty sure I know what it is! But I'm not going to say it in case I'm wrong and Jimi reads it. Then I'll never live it down and he might not like me anymore!

He celebrated this milestone birthday on Saturday night. I was celebrating extra hard for him, and I rather regretted it the next day. I made a right fool of myself, in front of people that will probably never forgive me. But I had a good time, and I think that's what counts. Wait...

Anyway, I fell off a chair, okay? It was uneven ground! Just ask Tom! I went all unconcious too. Good times. I had bruises aplenty the next day.

At least, I think, I managed to recruit extra people to come to my OWN party next week. Like Kat! And hopefully Lou! I.. hope they come anyway. Sadface. I also invited Alistair, but, uh. With my performance, I'm not sure he'll come! I'd sure like it though.

And I spent a long time talking to my drunk friends in Perth! Who were celebrating a similar birthday.

Finally, tomorrow is my last day at work. I haven't been working there very long, but wow. I sure have grown attached to the place. It's one of the first places where going there a few times a week didn't feel like a chore, and I didn't count the hours till I got to leave. And boy, am I attached to those kids. I'd like to say I'd steal some after I leave or something, but then if one actually went missing, I'd look like the prime suspect.

Anyway, I think that's where I'd better leave it. I'm tired from all the cleaning and I have to get up early to make final preparations and go to work and things. So the next time I update, I'll probably be in Perth. For good. I'll miss you all.

And update your blogs bitches. It's more important now than ever. How else will I keep up with the Sydney rabble.

Of Borg implants and modern masterpieces

Blog spam!

Yes, another entry this week! Or something. I was almost going to look up when it was to verify my claims, but I won't because goddamn I just can't be bothered and I DO WHAT I WANT.

I actually have some things in particular to scree about today, and I know how you all love the nonsensical ramblings, but don't lose interest yet, 'cause I'm excited so I'm pretty sure you can expect it to be pretty absurd anyhow.

Anyway, first exciting piece of news, my insulin pump, that I mentioned in the last entry! Today when I discussed it with my Diabetes Educator, we decided for once and for all that I will definately be getting one! And what's more, my move isn't delayed at all, which was another worry I had.

But I'm getting ahead of myself! For those that don't know, an insulin pump is a little thing maybe about the size of a mobile phone or a pager, and I keep with me all the time, and is attached to my insides at all time. It's like a permanent needle or something. And it pumps insulin at a regular basal rate, and allows me to give extra insulin when I eat or y'know, drink six litres of coke. Conversely, it also allows extra flexibility if I don't feel like eating if I'm sick or if I do some kind of exercise or something like that, where I would usually have to fiddle around with blood sugars and insulin.

Now, I'm talking as if you all know the basic workings of diabetes. So sorry if I'm not making a lot of sense! What did I say about nonsensicality?

It also gets me out of a horrible vicious cycle that I'm in at the moment that a lot of people won't even realise that I'm having a lot of trouble with day to day, that goes something like this:

Step 1: Have hypo (low blood sugar)
Step 2: Freak out and overcompensate (have too much sugar)
Step 3: Have high blood sugar from overcompensating
Step 4: Freak out and have too much insulin to compensate
Step 5: Have hypo from too much insulin.
Step 6: I think you can see where I'm going with this.

So basically my blood sugars are swinging from high to low a LOT which is really really unhealthy, and what's more adds to the problem, as it apparently causes cravings for sweet things! Anyway, so the pump will help me to not swing so badly, and things.

There are also a lot of other benefits, but that's probably the main one. Really, when it comes down to it, if you compare what I'm doing at the moment, and what I'll be doing with a pump, there is no way in which have 4 injections a day and forgetting to take my blood sugars is superior.

So basically, come February, I'll be vacationing in the lovely Sydney for two weeks, and getting my very first Borg implant. I could get it done in my new home of Perth, but it would mean some kind of delay, and also this particular Diabetes Centre has some practices which are unique in Australia. So it's just a little better. And seeing I was coming back about then for mah Gramma's birthday, it seemed like there was no reason not to come back!

Anyway, so that's pretty exciting, huh! Sorry about the people who were thoroughly bored by that, but it's the closest thing to a cure that I'll be seeing for a long, LONG time, and goddamn it, I'm pretty goddamn excited.

Let's see, what was the other thing.

Ah yes! I recently went out and purchased the brand new Nightwish album! "Dark Passion Play". Their first release since kicking the epic butt of Tarja out of the band and adopting one Anette Olzon as the new lead singer.

Now, there are a lot of people who're all "Oh man Tarja was the shit, Nightwish is nothing without her!" and there are a lot of people who are all "No way man, Tarja sucked, Anette all the way!" and frankly I was always a bit of both. I was a bit of a hater. Tarja was being a giant bitch, but this new woman just doesn't have the epic sound Tarja did and gives the whole band a more 'poppy' feel.

Anyway, so I bought the new album, mostly out of frustration. And then listening briefly to the beginnings of tracks I was forced to accept that I didn't really like what I was hearing. In particular, it seems that Tarja was holding back their particularly creepy side. For example, the first track a 14 minute epic called The Poet and the Pendulum, mostly seems to involve someone, possibly the songwriter, being cut in half by a giant swinging blade. Now, I'm aware this is a fairly superficial understanding, and I'm sure it's a metaphor for a dozen different things. But it still creeps me out to the point that I can't actually listen to it. This feeling is enhanced by the "chopping through flesh" sound effects and the voice of a small boy saying things like "I'm afraid, I'm so afraid/ Being raped again, and again, and again/ I know I will die alone/ But loved."

It just pushes it a little too far. I'm just not one for violence. Real, imagined, visual, described or anything.

But upon further listening, with the shuffle setting on Winamp turned on, it was far more enjoyable. It really was just unfortunate that their most awful of songs was the first on the album and so, formed my first impression.

For the purposes of this review, I had thought to try and pinpoint a track at which the album peaks. But really, there are so many genres explored and mixed that it's hard to name a favourite. There are several distinctly gentle tracks, many outright metal tracks, and some that seem to blur the boundaries. "The Islander" contains a beautiful and haunting melody, enhanced by the soothing harmonies of Anette, while "Master Passion Greed" explores their darker side once more, and is a lot more... metal, even though it throws in some particularly Bond-esque trumpets. "Eva" gently describes the sadness of a small child being mocked while "Whoever Brings the Night" (one of my personal favourites) seems to be about whores, who 'love to suffer' (I'm not sure I understand that song completely, yet).

Between all these contrasts is the instrumental "Last of the Wilds", half celtic fiddle and uilleann pipes, half roaring guitar solos and metallic beat.

So! "Dark Passion Play" is a masterpiece of modern melodic metal. Not that.. I think there was too much archaic melodic metal. It pleases me on every one of my music loving levels. There's even some gospel in there. Seriously, if that's not multigenre, I just don't know what is.

The Federation are dirty Communists

Alright, alright, alright.

I WAS going to start getting shite ready for my move in just over a month. But apparently everyone wants me to blog! Which is fine, I sure like being missed. But you'll regret it when you hear that I haven't blogged in forever 'cause I've been sick and in bed for the last 3 or 4 weeks. But I'll do it now that I've been un-shaped, and using the internet isn't a tedious chore to be avoided at all costs, due to the slowness of dial-up. Yep. Sucks to be me.

A few months ago, during my last stay at the Lady Timlington residence, there was a strain of flu going around now known as the Influenza Apocalyptica. Lotsa people just real sick, and I was among them, resulting in the short stay in the hospital which I may or may not have blogged about. Anyway, I never really got over that! I was coughing and sniffling for months after that. So when I went to the doctor about other things, I also brought up the fact that I just wanted to shake this cold/flu thing forever. So she put me on a weeks worth of antibiotics, and sent me on my merry way. That was a Tuesday. The following Tuesday, after the full course, I was feeling somewhat better, not entirely, but enough. The Thursday of the same week, yes, two days after I'd finished the antibiotics, I start coughing up my lungs and my nose is full of terrifying shite and my head wants to asplode and I want to be sick everywhere.

Thank you doctor!

So yeah, that was a few weeks ago now, and I'm only recently at the stage where I can actually go out or y'know, spend most of my day out of bed. I had to come home from work the other day 'cause I literally felt on the verge of collapse.

The weird thing is, is that I hear a couple of people on the Westside who were sick at the same time as I was, are getting their flu thing back as well, again, at the same time. Which, I dunno, must suggest its something about the virus or bacteria that it makes a reappearance after several months or something? I dunno, it could also be a huge coincidence.

But I don't believe in coincidences.

In other news, the deadline for my move grows ever closer, with D-Day being only slightly more than a month away. However, due to the aforementioned sickness issues, working and other commitments, and sheer laziness I haven't made a dent on the To-Do list I need to complete in this month. Which is starting to worry me slightly. But I also know that I tend to work under pressure, and that this is something that I want a LOT, so I'm sure I can push myself to do it.

It just seems like such an enormous mountain to scratch and claw away at, and it's my fingernails falling apart, not the indefatigable peak.

I think I might've used that word incorrectly. But I've always wanted to use it in a sentence, so it's staying.

Also, karaoke!

Me and my homeboys and girls went into Town this most recent Friday night, for some karaoke hijinks! These hijinks also included Starbucks coffee and EasyWay/bubble tea (depending on what side of the continent you're on). Also, sitting in McDonalds and looking at the cunningly contrived penises made from discarded chip packets that had been strewn about in various lights.

Greg thought they were hammers. Heh.

Sorry, Frets on Fire break. I had to play Push Push (Lady Lightning).

In other other news, I might be getting an insulin pump! Which is pretty great, because I'm possibly the worlds worst diabetic. And also, private health insurance pays the whole damn thing! Wheee! That's upwards of $8000. Wheee! 'Course, it also means I'll be a step closer to being Borg than ever before. But whatever. As long as I don't go blind.

I guess they probably have Borg inplants for that as well. But I'm not ready to get assimilated yet.

Tim pointed out to me last night, that the Federation are like, the hugest bunch of dirty Communists ever. I had never thought of that! It's also shocking that Tim knew more about Star Trek than I did, considering he's hardly/hasn't watched any. I guess I just wasn't paying attention in First Contact.

Anyway! Communists.

In otter news, otters are cute.

I'm re-reading Lord of the Rings at the moment. Anyone that's been near me in the last week will know this already. Because I'm enjoying it SO THOROUGHLY that everyone I talk to has to sit through a neverending stream of me singing it's praises.

This is only surprising to me because when I read it as a younger nerd, I found it pretty boring, and I tending to just skip to the bits with dialogue so that I had a vague idea what was going on, without having to try and decipher the thousands of pages of history and lore. But this time! Having watched the movies many a time, so the plot is fairly well known to me now, the bits of history and lore, and the parts that differ from the movies are the far more interesting. The history especially. So much so in fact, that I'm thinking of having another crack at the Silmarillion. I'm not sure I'm ready for that, but I'm willing to give it a go, quite frankly. 'Cause I just want to know everything about this world. Everything! And he hints at so much stuff that's never explained in the book, as if it's common knowledge. And dammit, I WANT it to be.

Anyway, I think I've procrastinated long enough. It's time to get packing and what-forth (thank you, Tom).

There, you can all stop flaming me now!

I'm.. I'm sorry.

It's a Harry Potter meme.

The Books in Order from Favorite to Least Favorite:

1. Order of the Phoenix
2. Prisoner of Azkaban
3. Half Blood Prince
4. Deathly Hallows
5. Goblet of Fire
6. Philosopher's Stone
7. Chamber of Secrets

Number of Times You Have Read the Series:
I'm gonna have to say none! Just 'cause I've only read the last one once, and that'd pretty much disqualify me from this badly worded question! I've read the others a buncha times though. So you can suck it.

Favorite Chapter from Your Favorite Book:
In any of the books, the chapters where Harry gets all the mysteries explained. The rest of the book is basically just padding for these chapters.

Five Favorite Characters:
Tonks, Luna, Sirius Black, Grawp and Snape.

Three Least Favorite Characters:
Umbridge, Fudge and Percy. No question.

Favorite Member of the Trio:
Hermione. She was the only one who never emo-ed out or was a complete jerk. Without one of the others doing something jerky. Y'know what I mean.

Three Favorite Magical Creatures:
Merpeeps, the Basilisk was pretty mad, even if it was entirely inaccurate, and... Hippogriffs I guess?

Favorite Family:
I don't think there were that many families to choose from! Uhh.. so.. I guess.. The Weasleys? (Thanks Sarah! Hee.)

Favorite Villain:
I would say Umbridge, 'cause she's the one that made me hate her the most, which is I guess what they're meant to do. But I just freakin' hate her so much. So I'm gonna say... Lucius Malfoy. He's got so much style. And calm evil.

Favorite Death Eater:
I'ma say Lucius again! Out of sheer laziness.

Favorite Non-Hogwarts Magical Building:
That lollyshop in Hogsmeade. Maybe I'm just a sucker for sweetness. But gawwd. It always made me wanna go there.

Favorite Diagon Alley Location:
The pub!

Three Favorite Spells:
Alohomora! Expecto Patroooonuuuuummm! That one what rends! That the Half-Blood Prince cooked up.

Three Favorite Potions:
Felix Felicis, the Polyjuice one, and uh... I think there was a blue one in there somewhere? I don't know. Potions don't interest me! Apart from thinking "Why're they having so much trouble?! Surely if they followed the instructions!"

Favorite Unforgivable Curse:
Crucio! The Avada Kedavra is too evil, and I just can't quite work out how the Imperius curse would work.

Favorite Department of Mysteries Room:
The one with the brains! Or possible the Time one!

Biggest Surprise:
All that shite what happened at the end of The Deathly Hallows. I mean... WTF.

Biggest Letdown:
Sirius Black dying! He was the best character. But they made him a bad guy for most of the 3rd, ignored him for most of the 4th, and killed him off in the 5th. Dude! Gypped!

Favorite Mode of Transportation:
Portkeys, probly. They just sound odd.

Favorite Weasley:
Ginny. Man, I'd do her so quick.

Favorite Order Member:
Sirius Black. Until he's UNFAIRLY KILLED OFF. Then Tonks. Maybe we should smoosh them together.

Favorite pet:
Hedwig. I always wanted her. She was so pretty.

One Character You’d Bring Back to Life:
Well... Sirius Black or.. uh. Someone else. Who dies in the last book. That I don't want to ruin for people like Tom who haven't read it.

Moment That Will Always Make You Cry:
I, uh. I don't cry in books. Maybe I'm a cold unfeeling robot? I just don't know. But yeah. N/A

Favorite Hogwarts Room:
Dumbledore's Office. You could just stare at it for hours! And THEN start fiddling with shit.

Favorite Class:
Transfiguration, Charms or Defence Against the Dark Arts. Y'know, any of the ones where they actually learned junk.

Favorite Teacher:
Favourite I'd like to HAVE as a teacher? Probably Hagrid. Overall, probably Snape. As long as Dumbledore doesn't count?

Favorite DADA teacher:
Well, that's an annoying question! It'd have to be Lupin, even though he annoys me, 'cause all the others annoy me far, far more. Hmph!

Least Favorite Teacher:
Umbridge!

Favorite Non-Human Hogwarts Resident:
The giant squid!

Favorite Hogsmeade Location:
That awesome aforementioned lollyshop, or possibly the Three Broomsticks. In Winter.

Favorite Triwizard Champion:
Uh.. uhh.. uhhhh! Cedric! Or Krum! They were both so SO cute. Sigh.

Favorite Triwizard Task:
The one in the lake. I just love that lake so much!

Which Character You’d Ask to the Yule Ball:
Neville! Did you see the way he got all excited? Totally worth it!

Which Character You’d Like to Use a Love Potion On:
Fleur. For bragging rights. Seriously, I don't know why they don't try that more often.

Which Character You’d Like to Use Veritaserum On:
Probably Dumbledore. There's so much I didn't understand in Deathly Hallows. And I want him to explain it better!

How Long You Have Been a HP Fan:
Shucks. Gee. I borrowed the first book from Ineke. So it was before she left. But before the movies came out. So I guess it'd have to be about 2000? Or 1999? I suppose it might've even been primary school? I just don't know.

Favorite Wizard Rock Band:
That one that was actually made up of like, Radiohead and... some other punk band or something. In the Goblet of Fire. Yep! Trivia!

Number of Midnight Releases You Have Attended:
None! I'm also awesome!

Favorite HP Website:
I don't go to the internet for rumours, unfortunately for this question!

Most Ridiculous Potter Theory You’ve Heard:
Please see above!

Character You’re Most Like:
Maybe Ron? I also get emo occasionally, and I know what it's like to have to live up to a lotta crap!

House You Think You’d Be Sorted Into:
Probably Hufflepuff, 'cause I'm pretty average at everything.

Your Patronus Would Be A:
Probably a piece-o'-fluff kitten, that would be useless against Dementors. Or a panther!

To You, Amortentia Would Smell Like:
I can't even remember what that is! But uh... something good!

You’d Use Felix Felicis To:
Nothing specific, I don't think. Just to have some kind of perfect day.

The Job You Would Most Like to Try:
Dragon-wrangler.

Which You Would Rather See — a Sequel or a Prequel:
Ummm.. Probably a Prequel. Just 'cause we KNOW Voldemort's been around before. Whereas if it was a sequel they'd have to think up a new enemy, or try and bring Voldemort back somehow. Which is so freakin' lame. Anyway, apparently she's working on a crime fiction novel now.

The Movies in Order from Favorite to Least Favorite:

Goblet of Fire
Order of the Phoenix
Prisoner of Azkaban
Chamber of Secrets
Philosopher's Stone

EITHER/OR…

Animagus or Metamorphmagus: Metamorphagus
Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans or Chocolate Frogs: Chocolate frogs. The beans just scare me. 'Cause surely, when considering *every* flavour in the world, there are more things that aren't food than are. So already the majority wouldn't taste good. And then there are the FOODS you don't like. It's just simple mathematics.
Black or Lupin: Black.
CAPSLOCK HARRY or Emo!Harry: CAPSLOCK HARRY!
Death Eaters or Dumbledore’s Army: Why don't you just ask "good" or "evil"? Probably the Death Eaters anyway. 'Cause the DA is really just a bunch of punk kids.
Draco or Lucius: Lucius. I love that man.
Durmstrang or Beaubaxtons: Don't make me choose! The girls were prats, but hot. The guys were hot but apparently evil? Or something? Anyway, Durmstrang.
Floo Powder or Broom: Floo Powder
Fred or George: I'd take 'em both at the same time, quite frankly.
Grimmauld Place or The Burrow: Grimmauld Place
Herbology or Care of Magical Creatures: Herbology sounds pretty dull. Care of Magical Creatures.
Hippogriffs or Thestrals: Well, considering I've never seen someone die, I guess it'd be Thestrals, 'cause I wouldn't know what the others looked like! Did you like how they *didn't* address the fact that half the party were flying across England on things they couldn't see, in the movie?
Invisibility cloak or Pensieve: They're too completely different things! I guess... pensieve?
Mermish or Parselmouth: Mermish. So I could be all "OH GOD DON'T KILL ME! WHERE THE CRAP IS ARIEL?!"
Occlumency or Legilimency: Uh, probably both? I think it'd be more helpful if you had both anyway.
Peeves or Nearly Headless Nick: Peeves is a giant jerk. Nearly Headless Nick has been helpful and junk on many an occasion.
Peter Pettigrew or Mundungus Fletcher: Mundungus Fletcher. At least he's a good guy. Even if he is a jerk.
Professor Binns or Professor Umbridge: Professor Binns I guess! By default.
S.P.E.W. or the Inquisitorial Squad: Uh. I'll, uh. I'll get back to you.
The Ministry of Magic or Gringotts: Gringotts for the win. That place was pretty freakin' mad. I hear there's a dragon in there.
Three Broomsticks or The Leaky Cauldron: Three Broomsticks.
Werewolf or Inferus: Inferius probably. I assume you mean "Which would you rather face?" I guess the walking corpses, 'cause they'd be pretty slow!
Whomping Willow or Flying Ford Anglia: Whomping Willow I guess? I... don't quite know what you're asking!
Yule Ball or Quidditch Championship: Yule Ball, probly. Sports events bore me. Even magical ones.

Okay! I'm sorry! I had to do it, Sarah was going to kill me. That took ages, and a lot of the questions were kind of dumb. But... yeah! It's done. Real update soon... er or later.

In other news, I have blue fingernails.

Oh man, you know what'd be great? If someone other than me blogged! I keep mentioning it, I keep hold of my hopes. But srsly, Dogblog has updated more recently than some of you. And that guy was on hiatus for like six months. I'll also have you know, some of you, who I shan't namerise, and therefore leave you all in fear of my vague and ineffective wrath, that I've recently deleted some of you from my bookmarks! You just suck THAT MUCH.

So! In the space of last entry and this one, I've got a new job, and applied for about a million more. I'm a childcare worker! At a daycare centre! Terrifying, no? Check your children carefully when they come home. Baby-blood is the freshest.

But yeah, it's pretty great. I worked my longest shift ever today, and reflected halfway through that it didn't feel like numerous hours had passed, and it *really* didn't feel like work. I guess that's 'cause it's not really. I'm not entering data, or programming uh.. robots. Or working with thousands of dollars. What I AM working with though, is our FUTURE. I'm led to believe. Though frankly I hope they get a little more education before that comes around. Seriously, they can't even put jackets on.

But yeah, it's pretty great! The pay is a lot better than I was getting as a nanny, though that's mostly my fault, and due to my lack of experience, and I basically spent my first hour today patting toddler's backs to lull them into sleep. I dunno if the hot jazz was meant to help though, but that's not my decision. Still it's a far cry from cleaning week-old urine off bathroom floors and fixing cracks in walls.

Anyway, they aren't giving me enough hours. Hence the applying for another million jobs. I'm moving to Perth, y'see! Finally, the dream becomes a reality. Assuming I can get some cash. Which I totally can. So it's a reality, see.

Man. I was kind of hoping this other nanny woman was gonna call in the morning. 'Cause she didn't call tonight like she was meant to y'see. But it's like 2am now, and I don't know if I want her to! Dumb bitch. Why didn't she just call tonight like she was meant to!

Also, job-hunting is hard. TOO HARD.

Gee Jess, do you wanna talk about work a little more, maybe? I dunno!

I'm just stressing out about it a lot lately! Sorry! This is therapy as well as entertainment dammit.

Coupled with the fact that basically all attempts at sociability lately have been foiled like so many leftovers, you can pretty much read 'stressing out' as 'freaking the fuck out' and I really need to get out somewhere where I can make 8 sex jokes a minute, and swear like a sailor with Tourettes while I'm doing it. So y'know, not home and not work. I'm looking at you, Sydney-ites.

Though y'know, if anyone who ISN'T in Sydney wants to make their way here and hang out with me, I'd be up for that too. Please God, just someone save me.

In other news, I have blue fingernails.

Don't worry, they were painted that way. It's not frostbite or something. It hasn't been THAT cold. Oh-ho! Oh, shut up.

Turns out blue fingernails don't taste so good! Kind of like nailpolish.

It's minute-by-minute updates in Jesstown!

I should call my blog "Jesstown". That'd really make those constant references to Jesstown a lot clearer.

Okay, when I start posting a series of one-liners, I think we both know it's time to quit while I'm ahead. I dunno, maybe I'll do a better post later. Or maybe I won't. We live on the edge, here in Jesstown. And you better keep up, lest we throw you over. Which will be a lot harder to do, seeing we'll have to slow down to get you, and also, that phrase never made any mention of speed, so maybe I'm reading too much into it. But yeah. Edges! You better watch yourself.

Done any meth lately?

LULZ

Mingle² - Indianapolis Singles

That's right bitches!

3 x 'bitches'

2 x 'fuck'

1 x 'fuckin'

Unfortunately, you all confessed non-existant sins.

Right losers. Everyone, but *everyone* just left me on MSN at the same time. If I didn't know better I'd say you were all planning some sort of surprise party for me, or hiding in your nuclear bunkers. But the overwhelming theory is that you all suck collectively. So I'm going to blog to let you all know how much you suck.

Also! Of other things!

Firstly, I'd like to thank all my "non-lurkers" who saw fit to comment last entry. Unfortunately, you all confessed non-existant sins, cause it seems I flushed out every person who's ever read my blog EXCEPT the actual lurker I was going for. Which is fine, I got a good response from it! But yeah, I just wanted you to know that I didn't have a single one of you in mind when I was talking about lurkers. I think Simon was the only real surprise. Sorry guys, it's not that I don't like you it's just... yeah... yeah I can hang out for a bit, I guess. Oh, and Debari was a surprise too! Also, TWO James's in one post! That confused me for a little while, I tell you what.

In other news, Transformers. Possibly the most metal cartoon ever? See that! I almost made a pun! Or something. But no, I refer, of course, to the original movie's theme song. By one.. Lion? Anyway, the point is, IT'S PURE POWER METAL. And frankly, that's the maddest thing ever. I was sent it by Tim, merely as a reference, as he was sending me a cover! Turns out the original was the awesomest thing ever, and I feel like we're slightly closer as a couple now that I've added it to my usual playlist. 'Cause seriously, dat sum wack shit.

Oh! So I suppose you want to hear more about my trip to the West Side? I know you do, don't be shy.

I'll list it in point form for you, so we can all be very clear:

• Perth is awesome.
• No, that's it. Everything in Perth is awesome.

I even ventured into the world of the unknown, and attended a social occasion without Tim on my arm! I refer, of course, to the Harry Potter premiere, in GOLD CLASS, to which he refused to accompany me. Jerk. However, Sarah and I made out in the darkness between occasional glances at the screen and the odd nacho, while Michael and Jeremy looked on in the kind of awe that only two hot women making out can inspire, and it was a good day.

Also, I may have played down the nachos a little. NACHOS, PEOPLE. In the movies! OMGAWESOME.

Then just a few days later, Tim came with me to see Harry Potter again, anyway. Gah! Why didn't you come to the Gold Class premiere! Did you get a good deal on the makeout footage, HUH?

There was also a poker night, during which Sarah and I played Guitar Hero for like 4 hours, and it was the best thing ever.

Oh man. My bloggin'-groove is lost 'cause Windows Media Player gave me the shits for like 20 minutes. Talk about unintuitive. IF THAT'S EVEN A WORD. I guess it is. Anyway, if I wasn't so used to it and frightened of having to get used to another, I'd totally use something else. But no, I do like to torture myself so, and really WMP and it's associated .wma's are the best way to do it, frankly.

Did I ever tell y'all about the time Tim and I made a CD of about a billion .mp3s for the many-hour trip to Canberra and back? I was all the time wondering why none of my songs seemed to be on it. Turns out when they said '.mp3' they meant just that, and I'd forgotten what WMP rips 'em as .wmas! JERKS! Good thing Tim has decent taste in music. Bad thing I'm a huge ditz.

What does the 'a' in .wma stand for anyway? I'm sure it's really obvious and I'll feel even stupider for asking the internet. But I just can't think of it. And I'm really just typing things that enter my head, as they come.

I found myself uncharacteristically bopping along to a lot of Sophie Ellis Bexter tracks in JB Hi-Fi one day. Now I'm home though, I can't find a single one that I enjoy. Apart from that 'Catch You' business. What is it about this wench and her being able to add an element of creepy to what could just as easily be your everyday pop song? I have to admit, I admire it a bit. If she's not murderin' on the dancefloor, she's stalking someone across the planet. I do like it.

I really want to write again. I've been having this feeling for a while, and it's mainly why I blog. But like, I'm going through what appears to be the Guinness World Record for Longest Writer's Block EVAR (it's in there, trust me) as I haven't been able to think of a decent plot for even a short story in like, 5 years or something. I'm not counting my Extension 2 short stories, 'cause really, I forced them out like a pregnant lady in The Medieval Times and I was just as unhappy with them. Which I guess was reflected in the mark. But yeah, if anyone has any ideas for me, it'd be really mad. I'm serious, you want some fiction written, I'm your ladytype.

I can clearly still put these word-things together with some amount of eloquence. But seriously, inspiration eludes me like Harry Potter fans avoid the internet before a book launch.

Hear that? Topical!

Totally. Not. A vampire.

OMG PRTH WTF HW GD'S THT?!

(Goodness gracious, I'm appear to be on the opposite side of the country to that which I usually am, and my, isn't it wonderful?)

And that's the story of how NetSpeak evolved.

As sort of stated, I'm in Perth again! How good is that! It's so lovely to be back again, even if it's been raining, Tim's been sick, and basically the most exciting thing I've done is being able to play Neverwinter Nights 2 while Tim's at work. That's all okay, cause I've totally got stuff on the To-Do list (we did actually make a list, come to think of it) and I'm pretty sure Tim's on the mend. So thing's'll be looking up soon. Looking up, from basically three-quarters of the way up the scale anyway, so that's pretty darn good.

So it's come to my attention recently that I have some lurkers. For those, perhaps not familiar with the term, specifically those who're doing it, as they need to know that I'm referring to them, a lurker is one who reads blogs and things, say for a very specific example, mine, but doesn't make themselves known. Actually, having just piqued my interest, Wikipedia tells me it's more about forums and messageboards and things, which does make sense. BUT! That's not the point. The point is, I have (a) person(s) reading my blog, and obviously being interested in it, or might I hazard, enjoying it, and frankly, I'd like to make your acquiantance! I'm not scary, I don't bite unless specifically asked (true story) and the idea of you making yourself known to me thrills me a little. In a good, totally uncreepy way. 'Course the easiest way for you to do this would be to leave a comment. That'd be great, cause it would mean I could avoid putting my email address on the internet for the internet to trap in-ter it's net. So yeah. Do that, maybe. No-one gone give you shit for anything you say, and I'll be sure to personally beat any of my friends what do.

Anyway, I'm just saying. Totally not a vampire.

Tonight I see Tim's Perthian friends! I'm pretty hot for this idea, as I think they're a bunch of the greatest mofos I've ever been associated with. Only Felix is gone now, and it doesn't feel quite the same without him. Well, I mean, I'm pretty sure it won't. Cause like, I wouldn't have seen him anyway. But knowing that I won't doesn't feel quite the same... as knowing that I will. YEP!

Enjoying Queensland, Felix? You know you are. Nothing but hot people. You know you'll fit right in.

Hmm, 4:30, eh? Despite starting a post, I don't really have time to finish it! Maybe I'll save it and finish it later. In which case, I should probably delete this line when I do. Or maybe I won't, just to be odd.

Simon's lady-friend Jane is staying here with Tim's family as well. She seems nice enough, only she doesn't look at me, or say anything to me. But I'm sure I'd be the same, and I'm going to put it down to shyness, rather than some horrible and arbitrary dislike for me, which should be completely unfounded. But who knows! Maybe I'm just a jerk. Well, I'm pretty sure I am but like, she shouldn't be able to tell yet.

Unless Simon told her! ... The Dastard ...

We went and saw Ocean's Thirteen last night! A little formulaic, but it's still enjoyable cause the formula works. Just wasn't really heavy on the storyline. Also prefaced this with dinner, in the form of breakfast. OH GOD YES. Ironically named "Fast Eddy's" does a mean, uh, toast.
And things.

Anyway! I should totally go shower now, before I run out of whoring up time before I go "hang" with the "peeps" at some "place". If you follow me. Which I'm almost certain you don't.

... YEAH.

Remember what I said lurkers! This could be the start of a beautiful friendship! Or you could just keep being anonymous. Whatever works for you. Anyway, you should all comment, and stop being jerks. Yeah. You heard me right. Jerks. Now what're you gonna do about it?

... Hopefully comment.

In rage.

It's the A-Rock-alypse!

I've been reading some blogs tonight. Some of the regular rounds, others just following links from the blogs of others saying "My, their name interests me vaguely!" Anyway, I found some interesting sounding people, and many people infinitely more talented than myself. Usually this would put me OFF blogging, but tonight, I thought to myself, "Wait, what's the one thing I'm good at?" And the answer my friends, is writing. Or in the case of blogging, using my cold-to-the-point-of-not-responding fingers to type in my mental notes until I run out of things to say, or I think I've gone on too long.

That and grabbing my cat and saying "YOU'RE A KITTY!"

He really likes that. He needs to know.

Today's lesson on stereotypes begins anon.

Granted I was in a *pub* in *Bondi* so I'm pretty sure that there, every night is 'come as your favourite stereotype' night, but even still, some observations.

Girls: You're all blonde, you're all ditzy, you're all wearing those stupid fucking boots and tuck your jeans into them, and you all drink white wine. Tell me why. WHY? Okay, okay, I know I'm a blonde too. But I don't count because I'm not one of YOU. I'm sitting by the window with a sneer while you all lean down provocatively and unnecessarily. I assume it is because all your concentration is divided between how much cleavage is showing and just who you're sticking your shapely behind at, that you missed that really easy shot while playing pool, but it might just be because you're STUPID. You should think about taking that in a new direction. Like, say NOT being stupid. That's really hot this season.

And seriously, what the fuck is with those boots.

And seriously, what the fuck is with that white wine? I like a glass of wine as much as the next person that likes wine, but when I go to a *pub* I will not try and impress everyone with how sophisticated I am by drinking white wine just like everybody else. Seriously, if you're a chick and not drinking white wine, you're outta uniform.

Okay, and boys, specifically of the soccer persuasion: You're all English. You're all English, you're all loud-mouthed and you all sing. I'm not sure what came first, the loud-mouthedness, the Englishness or the Soccer-loving, but those fitting this description all seem to gravitate toward each other, and also that pub last night.

I think that about ends the lesson on stereotypes and trends in bogans in Bondi.

Ah, Furious Angels. Makes even grocery shopping feel like an epic adventure. "Look out behind you! Yoghurt! *Swooshing-sound-as-I-do-Neo-like-dodging-of-yoghurt-attacks*"

In other music news, I remember blogging about finding this awesome band called "Ayreon" and how awesome he was and all. Well, soon after that, someone gave me a copy of his epic space opera "Into the Electric Castle". And well, I quickly lost the first CD, so I didn't listen to it until recently, for fearing I'd come in halfway through the storyline.

However, since finding that first CD recently, I have not been able to stop listening to this space opera. It is truly one of the greatest things I've ever heard. And I like to think I've been around enough to know a little about what I'm talking about. It has a truly complex and bizarre storyline, he draws on what must be about a dozen completely different styles of music, there's muso-symbolism, four-part harmony, at one of my favourite points theres three completely separate melodies weaving in and out of each other. He's truly a gifted musician. AND I read on his wikipedia article that he can't read sheet music. I find the fact that he can do all this, and not record any of it on paper for future reference.. pretty damn awesome.

Some of his ideas are so wacky though. And I quote "Do not be afraid. For I am merely the vocal manifestation of your eternal dreams."

Seriously though, it's one of the greatest things I've heard in my life.

While discovering new 'best-things-ever', I'm also re-discovering a lot of awesome old songs that I haven't heard in years. Namely "Save Yourself" and "Your Woman". Great songs. I don't know how I ever lost them.

Don't you love that feeling where you hear a song you haven't heard in a long time, and it was one that you used to really love, but just heard too often. So then you come back to it and it's like falling in love again? That's a beautiful feeling.

Oh man. "Hardrock Hallelujah" for example. Lordi, you are beautiful people. "It's the A-Rock-alypse" people!

In other news, Sarah is awesome. More people should comment like her. Unfortunately though, due to my complete shitness on MSN, I haven't got back to her about any of those things that she asked. Sorry Sah! I'll stop being gay soon. Or perhaps start, just for you.

Anyway, I think I'm outta things to say. Gee, it'd be nice if someone like TIM would comment. Also, did I get my very first spam comment on my last post? Normally I'd just say 'yes' and move on. It was just.. so odd, is all. Oh well! Yay, spam for me!

I have too much to say about nothing

If there's one thing consistent about my blogging frequency, it's that, about a week before I have an essay due, there'll be an update. I don't have anything much to report except I DON'T WANNA DO MY ESSAY and that's no big surprise anyway.

Oh man, F-Man is totally moving to Queensland! Follow the link on the side, to his journal, to read about the trials and tribulations about landing this job, but he TOTALLY MADE IT. Because he is a WINNER. You hear me, F-Man? You're a WINNER. Congrats, dude. Seriously.

Only you'll be leaving about a week before I visit next, which I do NOT appreciate. But I guess the new job's more important. And I'm super happy for you. (Seriously, hot people EVERYWHERE.)

But yeah! My next trip to Perth has been organised already, and I'll be leaving in 5 weeks from yesterday, and staying about 3 and a half weeks this time. 5 weeks doesn't seem very long. Except that I have essays, exams, and research participation to get out of the way in that time. Not to mention listen to all those lectures I skipped. Not to mention myriad doctor's appointments. I think the time will fly like crazy, and I gots to get some money in there as well. That'll be interesting.

So, I read a book recently. This isn't one of those "*gasp* shock horror, she read a book!" moments. I read a lot of books. This book is worth mentioning however, due to it's sheer bizarreness. This book is called "Spiral". With the words "written by the author of Ring" on the cover, but no mention of the word "sequal" I had originally just thought that perhaps Koji Suzuki wasn't actually a great writer, and basically had all of one plot that he put in all his books, with the videotape that kills people. But no, it turned out to be another sequel, and fair enough.

Anyway, what's really weird about this book, is the fact that it goes from fairly boring to completely bizarre, really suddenly, about I dunno, five chapters from the end. It had been fairly mundane to begin with, "Omg, ppl r dying, wtf, smallpox?" Until, and I should, at this point say, OMG SPOILERZ!, but I don't imagine you'll never read it, until suddenly there were week long gestational periods for human females, week long development into fully grown people, mutation of gene sequencing to form messages from beyond the grave, asexual reproduction/cloning?!

It was a really odd book.

What was REALLY odd, however, was this chick, the one who fell down the well, for people who've seen or read (The) Ring, was in fact, not just a homocidal freak from beyond the grave. She's trying to establish herself, yes HERSELF, as a new species. I won't go into detail, but there'll be a whole lot of little clones of her, running around, replacing mankind. IT WAS SO ODD.

It was still a pretty good read, for those who could get past the questionable science and the fact that the characters were far too willing to believe what was going on. Still pretty good.

Also, what struck me as odd (yes, apart from all the other things) was the reason this girl was down the well to begin with. I'm far more familiar with the American version, I have to admit. But in that story, little girl of about 8 was making mommy crazy and killing the horses with her mind powers or something, till mommy snapped and threw her down a well. Now, I had always taken this for gospel, coz the Japanese movie was a little hard to understand. But it seems that in the Japanese versions, mum had mind powers too, and she died. And little girl, also with mind powers, kept on a-living till the age of about 20, when she visited her ageing father in a Tuberculosis sanatorium where she got raped, the rapist discovered she was a hermaphrodite, and HE pushed her down a well. These are two extremely different stories! I wonder why the Americans found rape and murder, y'know the average episode of Law & Order: SVU, more abhorrent than filicide. I mean, sure they're both really awful. But it seems like, if you're remaking a movie, you would go ahead and use the plot already in place, rather than making a whole new one?

Anyway, moving on completely.

Those American devils from Caveat Lector (follow the link on the side, I really am lazy) have issued a challenge to the manhood of my beloved Tim, in comic form! The battle of the comics will be joined soon enough, so stand ye well back, lest ye be splattered with ink.

Or worse.

Spittle.

Yeah, I dunno. I'm really just blathering about anything tonight. Keeps me busy, and busy not doing my essay. And so...

Drizzt graphic novels. Omg. The almighty R.A. Salvatore, responsible for making every drow ever a surface-walking chaotic good emo with rejection issues, has deemed his incredible books worthy of the graphic novel medium. And by god, I will own every one of them before I die. So help me, they will be mine. Oh, gawd, they are *pretty*. So pretty.

Umm... Tomb Raider Anniversary! Successful re-imagination or redoing the same tired old thing? Who knows! It hasn't come out yet. At least not for PC. And apparently they're making it for the Wii now too. That should be... interesting. Actually, I have no idea how that would work. But I'm sure it will, or they wouldn't do it. I for one am still really looking forward to it's release, even though it'll be a lot more challenging and apparently a little more limiting than Legend. But y'know.

Also, I hear y'all are stoked about Star Craft 2, eh? I never played 1, despite everyone going "OMG best game evar!" about a million times in my ear. Um... yeah. So that'll be good, huh?

Oh, I dunno. Obscure book references, cult video games, I'm a huge nerd, and worse I have too much to say about nothing. Sorry!

Oh man, this one's a doozy.

Right, bitches. It's time to talk about blogging. Like some kind of meta-blog, you might say. Only you wouldn't say that, because you're not a pretentious twit, am I right?

Point is, the way I see it, there are three kinds of bloggers. Those that update frequently with every little detail of their lives; those that update occasionally, but they are either interesting enough, or humourous enough, or some divine combination, that 'occasionally' is enough; and those that don't blog at all, and when they do, it's daft/pithy/whinging/dull.

Now, a lot of my friends (I'm looking your way, Silvy) will immediately try to guess who I'm talking about, if I'm talking about them, is this just a really inefficient way of saying "OMG LOLZ SUCH AND SUCH SUCK DICK"? But I assure you, it's not. I'm really not saying any of this with anyone in particular in mind. So if you think you're in a category, you put yourself there, not me. Frankly, I'm just frustrated with the blogging community in general, and their lack of updating! Of course, there are exceptions, and if you blog well, and with frequency, you are excused, and may go. But the rest of you? "I must not be a shit blogger" 50 times in the backs of your books.

There was a point in there that I didn't actually address. Maybe the astute ones who can read between the lines will pick it up. Maybe it's not even there for them. Maybe I should've thought about what I was writing a little better. The point is, there are more important issues to discuss.

Namely, the greek-spanish conflict.

Since the beginning of time, the Spanish have been patrolling the limits of their borders, flexing their muscles at the mighty Greeks, whose borders have been closed to all outsiders since their two cities decided this 'nation' business might be worth a try. Until the advent of flight, the lands of the Greeks were a mystery, and the Spanish had to content themselves with scuffles with other nations of the super-continent, most often the Babylonians. The Spanish grew in power, however, and as the Greeks continued to exert their power over the French, Persians and Babylonians and extract thousands in tribute, the Spanish began to resist. There came a day, finally, when High Priestess Hippolyta realised that Icy Isabella was no longer cowed by her power. She still had the other nations under her thumb however, and they continued to empty their treasury to satisfy her. She soon began to regret not crushing the puny Spanish while they had been crawling in the dirt in their animal hides, and the mighty Greeks had already been flourishing.

While ostensibly friendly, due to the influence of the United Nations, empty threats were subtly exchanged between the two super-powers, and they knew that one day, the threats would not be mere rhetoric. In the early 1900s, there finally began a contest to decide who was greatest nation. This struggle did not occur on any battlefield, though, but in the void above the Earth, as the Space Race began. Babylon and France made their own attempts at the race to reach Alpha Centauri, but as expected, the real combatants were Icy Isabella and the Great Hippolyta. The gasps of the friendly nations were heard as the S.S.S. Isabella launched many years before the Greeks were due to begin their own space flight.

The Greeks battled on however, and lauched their own spacecraft, with 100% chance of success, though years too late, it seemed. In the years after the launch, the Spanish took on a more aggressive persona, and began to strike down peace treaties between the other nations that had existed for thousands of years. It was as if they foresaw the defeat that was to come. The final chilling transmission from the Isabella, beyond the reach of any that could help them, reached the Earth. The Spanish had been to hasty in their desire to attain superiority over the Greeks. The G.S.S. Hippolyta crew observed a moment of silence as they passed the wreckage, on their way to victory.

Icy Isabella still seeths in her fine palace as she continues to beat out her frustration on the smaller nations. The Great Hippolyta stands strong.

And that's the story of how I beat the crap out of Civilisation II, bitches. Damn Spaniards, think they can beat me. Theys wrong, they is! All hail, The Mighty Hippolyta!

You could dismantle planes with this thing.

Alright. It's time for the usual "I have something better I should be doing" update. I have an essay to write, y'see. A psych essay. This shouldn't be hard, I enjoy psych, and believe it or not, I enjoy essays. I just can't find the motivation to do anything much since I came back from Perth. I had no trouble writing as essay while I was over there. But now I'm here, I can't seem to do anything. I've been home a week, I've gone out maybe three times. One was a doctor's appointment. Rest of the time I've been sleeping or moping. You know what it's like. I suppose.

Anyway. I've been in Perth. Yep! That was beautiful. It was one of my favourite visits so far. My time with Tim was just incredible. I can't wait to enjoy it on a more permanent basis. And I will, laugh not, ye disbelievers.

He took me out to the Fairbridge Festival, a big ol' folk festival that his mum's been involved with for the past 12 years or so. That was great, so many folk groups, world, a capella, jazz, all sorts. It spanned a weekend, so we spent our nights in a tent, which, despite having not gone camping since the Camping Fiasco of '95, I quite enjoyed. 'Cept this sleeping on the ground lark.

Tim turned 22 the following day. During his celebratory birthday celebration meal celebrating, upon singing "Happy Birthday" over some fried ice-cream, he was accosted by numerous drunk individuals who came to shake his hand and wish him a Happy Birthday. What started with one drunkard, shaking his hand, eventually became the better part of the male population of the room, crowding around our table, shaking hands, hugging, and having numerous group photos taken by his mum.

It is my firm belief that, this sort of thing ONLY EVER happens to Tim. His unconcious pull on the people around him is starting to become a little creepy. Have I, in fact, been DUPED?

More on this story, when I've been bothered to investigate it a little more.

The weeks were filled with various excursions, to parties, the dirty socialite; dinners, and such. I particularly enjoyed meeting his friend's brand new baby boy, who was still a resident of the womb last time I was there. So seeing him breath his own air and eat his own food was hugely enjoyable to me! But mostly it was the kicking and the gurgling. OH GOD it was a cute baby.

Finally, the night before I left was marked by the official celebration of Tim's 22nd, among his friends. There were video games, silly hats, giant Subway cookies, a cake or two, and lots and lots and lots of drinking. Oh, also puppies. John's dog had had puppies, you see, and they were the cutest balls of pee and fur you ever saw, I swear.

But yeah, Tim's friends are the greatest. Scissors, paper, rock as a drinking game? Simple, yet, effective. I like it. And Guitar Hero? Gawd, I love that game. Oh, and Tim got a giant wrench.

GIANT. WRENCH.

You could dismantle planes with this thing. Maybe my alcohol addled brain is exaggerating it, but it was about two feet long. And very goddamn heavy.

[INSERT A THOUSAND TOOL JOKES HERE!!~1!]

But yeah, I'm returning in July for our very first anniversary.

... And to see Harry Potter with Sarah, Gold Class styles.

Two very good reasons!

Also, just to get the hell out of here. Coz Sydney really isn't for me anymore. Oh, how I long for the bogans and hippies of Perth. Anyway, there's a lot of good reasoning there, all I need now, is the money. Which means a job. A short-term job, as I'll be going away for two or three weeks in July. This is... hard. Perhaps I should consider street-walking.

Yeeesss...

Or I dunno, I could look after some more kids or something. That seems to be what I do! I might try one of these agency places, maybe they can find me a temp job or summat. Anyway, I don't know. I'll make it.

... And that's my story, bitches.

What were they thinking!

I know, I've been blogging up a storm lately. I don't know what it is. Maybe I have more to say, or maybe I have less to do. I can't think it'd be the latter with all the uni readings I'm not doing and essays I'm not starting. I theorised once that the more things I had to do, the more I would blog to avoid doing them. But yeah, I don't see myself reading psychology journals at 3 in the morning, so in this case, it's probably not that. More likely a desire to not go to bed, and no reason to go with this feeling, really.

And so, I blog.

Hmm, so maybe not the more interesting thing to start an entry with. But it's weirding me out. You know how moths are attracted to light? And if you have a light on at night, you might attract a couple of moths to the glass, and you'll look at them going, "You dumb suckers, even if you could get in, it's just a lightbulb, they're 2 bucks down at the supermarket"? Over the last, say, 2 nights, I've accumulated about 20 moths. They're just not leaving! I'm pretty sure they're gonna organise some moth-Woodstock soon. Only instead of sitting around getting high, they're sitting around on my fucking window praying to their little moth deities that I'll open the window and rip down the flyscreen so they can be one with their luminous idol.

Yep! Moths on my window. Just screams high-culture, I know.

Speaking of things so obviously high-culture, I went and saw Ghost Rider with Sarah tonight. Oh man. It wasn't the best movie. The script was awful, the acting was terrible, the cast made me want to hurl convulsively on the bogans in the next row, who were getting such a kick out of it. Generally it was a really awful movie. So why, WHY did I love it so much? It made me laugh in a dozen places, the plot and its devices were so terrible. Even hindsight, which is meant to grant so much wisdom, can't tell me why I enjoyed this movie so much. But I did. I really did. Don't waste the price of a movie ticket on it, of course. The general population is not as forgiving as I am. But seriously, if you're ever stuck on what DVD to rent at Blockbuster, give it a try, it's totally worth that much at least.

Oh god. What were they thinking!

I'm going to see my brother and his brand new wife tomorrow. I miss his company a lot, I do. We used to get on so well. Well, I suppose we still do. Just not with the frequency I'm used to!

I miss the Sydney Uni people as well. Silvia, Greg, Alvin, J&J to a lesser extent, on account of I see 'em every so often. What's more, I should really make some uni friends. I'm sure it's not hard. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've shunned a couple of vague attempts. I'm just not interested in relationships with these people! They're vague and vapid, and not particularly interesting. As I've been considering a lot lately, you've really got to be a fairly interesting person if you want to have a lasting relationship with me or, to tell you the truth, I'm just going to get bored of you! So I see these people coming in to lectures every day, wearing the same stupid clothes, and the same "I'd rather not be here, but I guess I should be" expressions, I'm really not encouraged.

On the other hand, as I sit in my corners and watch you all pass by like a waiting spider, sometimes I'll see really interesting people. And I'll stop and think, "Wow, I'd really like to go and start a conversation with them. I bet they're really interesting." This happened to me the other day. But really, there's nothing weirder than that. And it does not a good relationship beginning make. So I guess my only option is to make friends with the uninteresting ones, and hope that maybe they're friends with someone awesome. But that's using people! As anti-social as I am, surely this is infinitely moreso!

Ugh. I know, I'm a totally anti-social bitch. I know, I know. I'm sorry if it offended anyone. But really, it shouldn't, 'cause you must be pretty awesome people. If you get my drift. The moral of the story is... some people need character. Character implants, maybe.

Anyway, I'm doomed to a life of loneliness, or possibly spending it with a whole lot of awesome people. But who cares! It's my problem, right?

This is entering the realm of the emo! So I shall say goodnight. Man, I hope I haven't put people off! This is the toll bearing your soul takes. Sleepless nights that your social circle is about to get even smaller. Sigh!

Fuckin' emos.

I totally have performance anxiety now.

Oh Lordy. I have just received the single greatest compliment ever. And so I thought I'd share it with you all.

It starts with Tim. You see, he's a pretty hard guy to please a lot of the time. So, it stands to reason that his friends are also pretty hard to impress, as they need the discerning taste that stands up to Tim scrutiny. Are ye all following? Coz I'm not actually sure that sentence made sense. I'm not doing a good job at this, thus negating all I'm about to say. But what I'm trying to say is that, one of Tim's friends in particular is hard to impress. As Tim puts it, "Uh... forthright, blunt and delightfully arrogant?" But I have done it, my friends! May I submit to you an excerpt from a conversation between Tim and I. Dirty bits and names edited out.

Tim says:
Oh speaking of the internet!
Tim says:
I was totally talking to "Jeeeoorrb*" last night.
Tim says:
And he was all "Yeah, so I was totally reading through your links cos' I was bored, and, well, your girlfriend is funnier than you."

*Jeeeoorrb obviously being the name I edited out.

This long-time, discerning critic of a friend, says I'm funny!

Man, when you go into italics in blogger it is *really* hard to get out. I also edited a misplaced '@'. Hope you don't mind. I know, it changes the context completely. But what can I say, I'm a spin-doctor.

I know, I'm tooting my horn like a one-man orchestra tonight, but this put a huge grin on my face, you gotta understand.

Anyway, that's enough I guess. What else is going on?

Oh, I know. I went to the MURPS Annual General Meeting the other day. MURPS? What is MURPS? It's an awkward name for an awkward society. Macquarie University Role-Playing Society. Actually, I'm not sure that's what it is, I'm just using my well-established common sense. So forgive me if that's not it! Anyway, role-playing society. We played some games, elected some executives, and made some awkward small talk. All in all, a nice bunch of people. They don't have regular meetings though, and you actually have to sign up to go to a game or something. So I'm not sure how many *anythings* I'll be attending. But I get a discount at a few nerd shops around the place, so it was still worth the $2 joining fee.

Speaking of uni, tomorrow I'm having lunch with Tom, and someone known only to both of us as "Metal-Kid". If you happen to read Tom's journal, and I strongly suggest you do, this is the kid that approached Tom out of the blue and talked to him about Nightwish for 20 minutes straight. He doesn't know his name! I'll learn it tomorrow, with luck.

Speaking of reading journals, I also strongly suggest reading "F-Man's Blog". His latest entry had me LOLing for a a good long time, and in the middle of the night too, which I'm sure my dad in the next room didn't appreciate. He's a super-funny guy.

Man, if I were a superhero, or indeed, superheroine, my superpower would totally be hilarity. I'm pretty sure I've got that down already. All I need now is a cape.

Watch as I disarm these minions with a quip that cuts to the bone!

Speaking of useless superheroes, (I am truly Mistress Segue tonight!) I was anticipating the newest edition of "The Non-Adventures of Wonderella" SO HARD. But upon reading it tonight, it was not particularly chuckle worthy! Hopefully the author was just having a bad.. um. However-long-it's-been-since-they-updated. Or else they might find themselves deleted from my Webcomics bookmark folder. The bane of every webcomicist out there, truly. I coined another word! I'm on a lexicographical roll!

Man, it took me so long to think of that word.

Oh gawd. Thanks, Tim. I totally have performance anxiety now. I mean, I'm not so vain to think that this previously mentioned person will be coming back periodically to see what I've written. But what if, on the off chance, he does! This entry isn't up to standard!

By the way, I should bring up my disappointment with the lack of comments! Honestly, I disappear for a month or two, and suddenly you all forget I exist! Julieanne! James! You both commented on Tom's! I'm heartbroken!

Oh man, I totally booked my flight to Perth the other day. I'm now, offically and definately going back for two weeks in mid-semester break. I know, I always go when it's holidays, which means my socialising with Sydney Uni people and others, I suppose, is sort of cut down. But.. but.. LOVE, people! It's very important!

There's nothing stopping you from coming with me! Apart from the expenses and the fact that I can't offer you a place to stay. But the streets are enough for you! Honestly, Perth is so friendly, they see you lying in the gutter, they'll probably built you a little hut or something. Well, maybe, if it's raining.

Tom's coming to DragonForce with me! Also, I think we may have enlisted Metal-Kid as well. You should all come so you can meet him. Well, I should probably learn his name before then.

Also, Within Temptation's new album has just been released. I.. am tossing up whether to get it! It seems they've been somewhat Evanescecised lately. Or at least, their one single from this album. Or.. I don't know. They made a song for an upcoming MMO which was all Nu-Metally, but I'm not sure it's on the album. Sigh! I guess I'll have to do some investigating before I go out and buy/shoplift it.

And that's it for tonight's Metal Update, back to you, Vanessa, at the Newsdesk.

I used to know a girl named Vanessa. I wonder what ever happened to her.

Blogger's wiggin' out now! I think that's a sign for me to go! Kisses and whatnot!

Surprise!

Not only a complete blog overhaul, but TWO updates this month! Shock! Horror! Brain-splode! Mop-Power!

Don't forget to check out the new links! Blogs! Webcomics! Your mum's naughty website that she prayed you'd never find!

Oh Em Frikity Gee. Uni started on Monday. My very first day at uni. It was like my first day at school only I'm a lot less cute and I had to find ridiculously named rooms without the aid of a parent or teacher. Or even fellow student, if I want to retain the facade of relaxed calm. Oh, friendly fire escape map, what would I do without you. Surely, you are my only friend. Well, you and the new Mexican place that just opened. Gawd, I love it. You guys should come to my place and hang out! New-Mexican-Place can bring dinner.

Yeah... but uni's been a bit of a waste of time this week, unfortunately! It's been mostly what they call "Introductory Lectures", y'see. So! It mostly amounts to 20 minute lectures on the virtues of textbooks, course outlines and not plagiarising; followed by waiting for two hours for "Introductory Tutorials" in which they discuss the virtues of... doing assignments, and handing them in at some point.

But I can't see it not picking up next week. Double negatives, bitches! Also, the second part of my very first psych lecture was an ACTUAL lecture. And it was pretty freakin' awesome. So, in conclusion, woo.

Oh! So I went to see Evanescense when they were in town the other day. It's was godawesome. What? You can have godawful but not godawesome? Just coining phrases, don't mind me. Point is, it was pretty great. Not a lot of audience interaction though! So it might as well have been a CD. It was still pretty awesome though. Also, Shihad opened for them! Which was a personal dream when I was a little girl. My interest had somewhat waned over the years, but it was still great to finally see them. But no-one else knew who they were! I was shocked and appalled! At all of you!

Next stop, DragonForce in May! Volunteers welcome!

Hmm... I've kind of lost the heart for blogging. Still. Check out the links. Kisses.

Forgotten English references, FTW!

Right, bitches, it's on. Time for the, er, monthly update.

I can't think of much to say. Oh, I KNOW stuff has happened. Don't get offended, people who's funerals, christenings, and bar mitzvahs I'm skipping over. I'm just saying. I can't think of anything at the moment. I'm hungry, y'see.

Perhaps not ideal circumstances for an update, I hear ye cry. Well, I beg to differ, for though I'm hungry and stuck for ideas to talk about, I feel as if I'm having a high-vocabulary, high-literacy night. Pretty words art spewing forth from my fingery-tips, ye might say. Or at least, I think so anyway. Sometimes I can't tell if it's writing skills increased, or standards lowered. In ANY case, it needs to be recorded.

And so! I shall write about my writing! How post-modern of you, darling! You simply must try these existentialist scones!

Why would anyone cry, "Perhaps not ideal circumstances for an update"? Or make scones of pure existentialism?

I'm seeing Evanesence on Saturday. I'm starting to feel jittery about this. I'm a concert virgin, y'see. I mean, well. I've been to CONCERTS. Small ones. Mostly classical. A few otherwise, but nothing major. Call it concert-fooling around, or concert-foreplay. But never anything flooded with thousands of screaming emo fangirls clawing desperately at Amy Lee's flesh with the hope that some celebrity might rub off. What if I get trampled! Or trample someone!

Man, if I ever start a band, it's going to be called "The Screaming Emos".

Oh man. Tim totally sent me roses for Valentine's Day. We'd had a discussion a few days previously in which we'd more or less decided that Valentine's Day was cancelled. So here I was laden with guilt and love when these roses arrived. Best Valentine's Day ever! It was intensely strange to see his loving words on the card, exactly how he'd say them, in someone else's handwriting, though.

Non-surprising, I missed him a whole lot while you other dirtbag girls clutched longingly to your men and made public displays of affection in my downcast face.

Some people call me bitter. I call them heartless.

Christophus Englishicus had his long awaited "birthday" "party" the other night. 'Twas fun enough. There was a whole company of people that I hadn't seen since high school, which was... well, a lot of things. It was interesting to see how they'd all grown up. Or not, respectively. The novelty quickly wore off, however, and it became less stimulating, and more... standing around in an enclosed area talking to people with whom I no longer have anything in common, or interest in. So, it was good to see them all! But I left early. Also due to horrible public transport issues earlier in the day that had left me exhausted.

Also, there was a stripper. It was not the.. somewhat-more-advanced-than-usual-for-someone-in-her-profession's age, nor the vaguely out-of-shapeness that turned me off. It was the enthusiasm. She had none! She was just going through the motions, as she probably had 5 or 6 times that night already, and quickly left to do another half-dozen times. I know I just made a case for why she shouldn't be enthusiastic. But a musician has to practice a piece a hundred times, and still play it with feeling. Not the best comparison, I know. But what I'm trying to say is.. she has a job to do.

Bah, I've talked about this stripper far too long. And far too deeply.

Also, if I ever have to see Phil without a shirt on again, I'm going to throw something sharp at him. And damn the consequences. I'm pretty sure, "Your Honour, have you SEEN HIM without a shirt on?!" is a pretty solid defence.

Welp, it's 2am, and I think this hunger is turning into a hypo. So I'ma do something about that, and maybe even go to bed. Sorry I haven't been every bit as eloquent as I made myself out to be tonight. But you've had a good five minutes of reading, I hope. And perhaps you'll come back again sometime! Alright, alright, I won't serve self-referential cookies next time. Alright, alright, choc-chip like your mother used to make. But you won't stop me adding a dash of irony, so help me!

Little Differences - Save Ferris

3am blogging! This is sure to work! Right?

So I've been drinking a lot of tea. And playing a lot of video games. The combination of these factors has resulted in a slightly-more-barmy-than-usual Jess. I dunno, that and mad, phat rock beats blasting in my ears. Who knows.

Man, it was totally Australia Day yesterday. I had a barbecue! And it was not in any attempt to be regular- or pseudo-patriotic. More like.. a coincidence. However, I feel like a better Australian because of it, regardless. But yeah, this feeling of overall goodness about being Australian was then countered by a feeling of overall shittness about being DM. Yep, I'm pretty sure I said it before, but yeah. Never again.

Damn you, and your feminine wiles, Greg.


Oh, right. So I was totally in hospital. I'm not dead, but was apparently pretty close. I don't know, I don't actually remember a lot of the first day. Just that there was a lot of bile involved. And wanting to die.

But yeah, a couple of days later they were all, "Hey, you're totally not sick anymore, we must be awesome" and they set me free. I don't know what to think actually, whether this was a short stay or a long one. Cause they were actually letting me out earlier than they had meant to originally, but when I saw an unrelated endocrinologist the next day, she was all, "Gee, three days? That's a long stay!"

I had so many drips in my arms, my mum wanted to take a photo and show it to her nurse friends at work. Because, yeah, I had three holes in my arms, and like, two of them were giving me two different things each or something. I still have a massive freakin' bruise on my wrist. I watched as she tied one into my wrist, with the help of local anesthetic, with a needle and thread. It was pretty horrifying!

But yeah. Diabetes related, but totally not my fault. A whole lot of aspects that accumulated to unfortunate ends. A lot of dehydration, and acid-blood.

Yep, I'm pretty sure I was turning into a black dragon, or an Alien or something. But they assure me otherwise. I'm pretty sure they haven't read the sourcebooks though.

But when I come after your treasure or spaceships, don't complain to me! I might like, bite your face off or something.

Black dragons don't come after treasure. What'm I talking about.

Yeah, coz that was the nonsensical part of that whole tirade.

Shut up.

I saw Deja Vu tonight, with my mum. I was so sure it was going to be a generic Jerry Bruckheimer thriller with little to no substance. Who would've thought it'd be about timetravel or some such! I really enjoyed it, actually. More than I was expecting to. But I'm pretty sure that's only because I'm specifically, in my mind, avoiding thinking about it, because my plot-hole sense is just screaming at me. But I don't want to ruin it. So yeah. Go see it, but don't think about it. You'll probably regret it.

I totally put ranks in Knowledge (plotholes) last level. Yep. Or perhaps Sense Plotholes? Whatever you like better.

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Fergalicious definition: make them boys go loco.
They want my treasure, so they get their pleasures from a photo.

(Tom is correct!)
....

I love how I tried to give that tripe grammar. I hope it's stuck in all your heads now! I'm not part of the solution! I'm part of the problem!